Tag Archives: riz mc

Favourite albums of 2011

20. Ghostpoet – Peanut Butter Blues & Melancholy Jam

19. Lupe Fiasco – Lasers

18. Lady Gaga – Born This Way

17. Rihanna – Talk That Talk

16. Theophilus London – Timez Are Weird These Days

15. Drake – Take Care

14. Anna Calvi – Anna Calvi

13. Jamie Woon – Mirrorwriting

12. Lil B – I’m Gay (I’m Happy)

11. Selena Gomez & The Scene – When The Sun Goes Down

10. CocknBullKid – Adulthood

9. araabMUZIK – Electronic Dream

8. Cher Lloyd – Sticks + Stones

7. Riz MC – MICroscope

6. Beyoncé – 4

5. The Sound of Arrows – Voyage

4. Toddla T – Watch Me Dance

3. Britney Spears – Femme Fatale

Britney’s people have told her that every song on her album Femme Fatale is inspired by a different femme fatale from history, myth or fiction. Poor Britney just can’t work it out though! Can YOU match the lyrics from the album to the  foxy ladies in question? Answers below.

2. The Weeknd – House of Balloons

Poor Abel Tesfaye has just got the artwork for his epically miserable comedown album back from the designers, but it looks like they’ve strayed from his original vision! Can YOU spot the five subtle differences hidden in the new cover?

If you are having trouble spotting all five differences here are some hints!

  • I wonder who else was at those debauched parties he sings about?
  • There’s a subtle theme running through the album but we’ve “inflated” it
  • “Well doesn’t that put the cherry on top”
  • Track titles ‘MAY’ not ‘ALWAYS’ be correct!
  • A dog’s face

1. Katy B – On A Mission

Here are Katy’s missions explained track-by-track:


Attributes: Slowly unfolding; sweeping musical vista; quite long. Mission: 1986 film THE MISSION. (From the IMDB plot synopsis: “Initially, the Guarani warriors prepare to kill him, but after Gabriel plays an unforgettable solo on his oboe, they allow him to live”. And we’ve all had days like that.)


Attributes: Bold, purposeful, brill. Mission: KATY’S MISSION STATEMENT


Attributes: Elegant; structured; accomplished. Mission: MISSION REVIVAL ARCHITECTURE.


Attributes: Startling; Bleepy; Full of twists and turns that leave you feeling dislocated. Mission: Doctor Who‘s 1965 MISSION TO THE UNKNOWN episode with its imagination-gone-mad monsters and lack of regular cast.


Attributes: Propulsive; No nonsense; Designed to make you move. Mission: A SEARCH AND DESTROY MISSION.


Attributes: Dignified; Luxurious; Satisfying. Mission: The DIPLOMATIC MISSION where the Ferrero Rocher-stuffed Ambassador’s Receptions are held.


Attributes: Solid; A bit old-fashioned; Cheery. Mission: THE GLAD TIDINGS MISSION FROM 60s CORONATION STREET, over which Ena Sharples presided; a handy refuge in case of a gas leak on the Street.


Attributes: Bright; Bouncy; Pretty. Mission: MISSION BELL (the flower, stupid.)


Attributes: Passing the torch from one generation of singer to the next; Shiny; Confident. Mission: THE CONTINUING MISSION of Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s Enterprise-D.


Attributes: Fun; In your face; Sassy with the fanfares. Mission: The original series of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE.


Attributes: Romantic; Irresistible; Destined to help Magnetic Man be warmly remembered even though most people shrugged at their album proper. Mission: A RESCUE MISSION.


Attributes: Charming; Laidback; Basking in the glow of all that’s come before. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.


The best boyband ever?

Full size image

We are at war. It all started when @baradar85 was daydreaming about how much more fun Jay Sean would be if he were part of a boyband, rather than flouncing around in vests on his own. Ha ha yes, I said, and I turned my back for a moment to find he’d come up with the line-up and picture above, and a brilliant playlist for their debut album. ‘They’re called Originé!’ he said proudly. Which sounds to me like the boyband name you’d get if you asked the contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race to come up with one, but there you go.

That album tracklist in full:

Then @katecliffy weighed in and came up with her own perfect girlband. So the pressure’s on. Let’s take a look at our boys.


"Did you think that you could shake it in front of me girl, and I wouldn't at least demand a taste?"

Posh boy Jay formed Originé after getting fed up with record labels telling him the world’d never be ready for a solo Asian R&B star. He originally advertised in the back of NME for ‘musicians’, but everything changed after he met Jay-Bee in an unnamed London nightclub. No-one knows for sure what was said or done, but the next morning they decided that the boyband route would be more realistic and profitable all round.

Which one is he? He gets all the female attention, does all the backflips and sings the choruses on all the biggest hits. You know the sort.

Age: 18 (NB His year of birth is uncertain, with different sources giving dates ranging from 1979 to 1983. The cruel ‘1979’ idea comes from the Birth Registry in Hillingdon, but who listens to those? For promotional purposes we’ve simply rounded down his age to the nearest number that’s 18)

Likes: Champagne, Hennessy, affirmation. [Edit: Jay also enjoys ‘keeping it real’]

WLTM: Amira from Eastenders.


"You take the piss, I chop off your schlong"

Bad boy Riz was brought into the group by record label chiefs to whom he owed ‘a personal debt’. This cheeky North London scamp is half-Egyptian! Egypt is a very dangerous country which, as recently shown on Fox News, is between Syria and Iran! So nobody needs to worry that Originé isn’t edgy enough.

Which one is he? He’s very bouncy and he does the raps. You know the sort.

Age: 18

Likes: Wu-Tang Clan, Karl Marx, trainers.

WLTM: Dutty bad gyal dem.


Baby er dig ned ned ned ned ned?

Smalltown boy Nabil joins Originé from Høje in Denmark. He was brought in as a last minute replacement when an original Originé member mysteriously disappeared just before their debut performance on  Ireland’s Late Late Show. He has always wanted to be a star, and promises to give it both “his heart and soul” and “110%”

Which one is he? He’s the ‘Jade Ewen’. You know the sort.

Age: 16

Likes: The erotic melodrama of the silent era; the increasingly explicit sex films of the 1960s and 1970s; the Dogme-95 movement of the late 1990s.

WLTM: Nelson Mandela, Emma Bunton.


"Day One I first laid my eyes on you, Day Two I can't help but think of you, Day Three was the same as Day Two!'

Rugby boy Jay-Bee is the butch, masculine presence in the group. His laddish banter and antics keep all the other boys in fits of laughter!

Which one is he? He does the standing around and looking dreamy. You know the sort.

Age: 18

Likes: Ben Cohen, Gareth Thomas, Dieux du Stade.

WLTM: A nice girl who doesn’t mind taking it slow or taking the lead.

We’re all very excited about Originé and predict big things for them! Check back in a few weeks when we expect to be running a ‘Where Are They Now?’ feature on the boys.

And in a shameless bit of promotion I’d just like to point out that the real Riz MC’s debut album is a brilliant mix of thoughtful, clever rap and fuck-off dirty beats. You can preview/buy it here. I’m not sure if Riz would find this article the ideal plug for MICroscope, but he does do this thing at his gigs where you have to decide whether you’re “cool” or “friendly”. And on that scale I reckon his appearance on this blog is his friendliest endorsement of all time.

UPDATE: I turn my back again for a few minutes and suddenly Originé have got their own Twitter account