Tag Archives: ikea

Tied up with string: January

What’s been tickling my fancy this month then?

A Song

Song of the month is Traktor by Wretch 32 featuring the ungoogleable “L”. Wretch says CHOO CHOO GO HARD GO FASTER in it, it’s made of an insanely good combination of beats, synth wooshes and surf guitar, and it’s stupidly addictive. I had it on repeat play ten times in a row at one point. Ahem.

An album

I already put it in my Top 20 of last year, but it’s only really come out in the UK this month, and it’s a big grower. Last Train to Paris by Diddy – Dirty Money is superb. It sounds to me like an electro-R&B sequel to Kraftwerk’s Trans-Europe Express, with a consistently hypnotic chug about it, a strange atmosphere of repressed minimalism, and some brilliant songwriting. Hear it on we7

SOME TELLY

How lovely was ‘Head Over Heels In Rats’? I am now broody for a rodent friend who isn’t my toy rat from Ikea.

A film

‘What about the King’s Speech?’ asked a colleague on the bus the other day, as I was confessing to my Black Swan addiction (I’ve seen it FOUR TIMES at time of writing). ‘Oh I couldn’t give a shit whether the King makes his speech or not,’ I replied. And I couldn’t.

I've been looking at you, you've been looking at me

I want 100 minutes of extreme close-ups, brilliant sound design (SO LOUD in the cinema!), paranoia, feathers, creepiness, crotch-grabbing, and mirrors, mirrors, mirrors. It’s Roman Polanski meets John Waters meets David Cronenberg and I can’t remember watching a film so obsessively and repeatedly since I got my hands on a VHS of Nightmare On Elm Street in the mid 80s. I suppose there’s my formula: give a girl an eccentric mother figure and throw her into a world where the boundaries of reality are always shifting, and I’ll love it for life (see also: Run Lola Run, Hellraiser).

Some adverts

I’m a big fan of the Which? advert with the ‘genuinely filthy dog’ in it. Why does it speak to me so much, this creature who starts out all clean and handsomely muzzled before going off to have adventures, lick tramps and rifle through bins? Who can say?

Genuinely filthy dog

I also admire Jedward’s well-judged self-mockery in the Money Supermarket ad; they’ve certainly managed to appear in the only watchable Money Supermarket ad I’ve ever seen.

And an honourable mention for holidaying in Jersey, not an amazing advert in itself, but I like that they’re now ‘The Warmest Place in the British Isles’. It’s a vast improvement on previous years’ Channel Islands campaigns which have proudly boasted ‘WHERE A POUND IS STILL A POUND’. That’s a revolting slogan which speaks only to the aspirations of Daily Express readers, who like the idea of going abroad but only if they don’t have to endure any foreign muck or funny money.

Animal of the month

Born to make you happy

And finally, a salute to the humble cochineal, whose pulverised remains are once more featuring in the ingredients lists of some of Britain’s favourite shop-bought cake slices. They went away for a while, but these days with ‘No Artificial Colours or Flavourings’ a big selling point, they’re back back back!

Thousands of these otherwise unloved beetles are dying every day to ensure that our cakes are just that little bit more red. WE WILL NOT FORGET.

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Favourite albums of 2010

20. Massive Attack – Heligoland

19. Lil Wayne – I Am Not A Human Being

18. Shakira – Sale El Sol

17. Nas & Damian Marley – Distant Relatives

16. Gabriella Cilmi – Ten

15. Yeasayer – Odd Blood

14. Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday

13. The Roots – How I Got Over

12. Diddy – Dirty Money – Last Train To Paris

11. Janelle Monae – The ArchAndroid

10. Big Boi – Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty – WEIRDO WITH BASSLINES

9. The-Dream – Love King – PERV WITH SYNTHS

8. Jazmine Sullivan – Love Me Back – SHE GOT A BIIIIIG VOICE

7. Arcade Fire – The Suburbs – YOU CAN’T GO HOME AGAIN YOU KNOW

6. Corinne Bailey Rae – The Sea – WEARY AND BROKEN AND TERRIFIED BUT LOVE IS BIGGER THAN THE PAIN YOU GET FOR IT AND OH GOD I AM WEEPING AGAIN

5. The National – High Violet – The National have got TWO pairs of brothers in their line up, but despite this they keep refusing to do a “Double Jedward” by covering Ghostbusters. They insist on filling their music with fear, regret, spiders and despair (it’s very beautiful).

4. Plan B – The Defamation Of Strickland Banks – Angry rapper in “amazing soft-hearted songwriter” shock. Also: tight suits, prison fantasies.

3. Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

We're going to need a bigger pad

Do we really have to call it that? Anyway here is an extract from Kanye’s shopping list:

THE PLINKY PLINK PIANO OF SELF LOATHING.

THE HUMUNGOUS HANDCLAPS OF HUBRIS

THE BLARING HORNS OF PROBABLE IMPORTANCE

THE APHEX TWIN SAMPLE OF WISTFUL REGRET

THE PROG ROCK SAMPLE OF IMPLIED PERSONAL COMPLEXITY

THE MASSED CHOIRS OF ASSUMED SIGNIFICANCE

EGGS

BROCCOLI

PAINTINGS

2. Robyn – Body Talk

Instructions for assembly available separately

CARLSSON. Album. Package measurement: 5-15 tracks ( spares provided ). Start with a ready-made combination or create your own combination from scratch. Drag and drop songs using our online planner, or see our CARLSSON experts in store for helpful advice in assembling your album. Key features: Resilience, Defiance, Inclusivity, Heartbreak, Love, Compassion, Dancing (on your own), Dancing (running tings), Dancing (to the beat), 1 x robot, 1 x time machine. Will complement existing CARLSSON items. Care instructions: Wipe off tears with a soft clean cloth. Keep going.

1. Drake – Thank Me Later

Choose your own Drake

Choose your own adventure in time, memory and identity! Will you find your way to happiness in the here and now or be LOST IN TIME?

TRACK 1

You are Drake! Money just changed everything and your fifteen minutes started an hour ago!  But you’re haunted by the sense that “you never see it coming, you just get to watch it go”.

If you look for the answer in your lover’s eyes, go to Track 11.

If you look for the answer in your own past, go to Track 10.

TRACK 2

“I was only trying to get ahead – but the spotlight made you nervous”.

You don’t get to take everyone with you when your life changes; sometimes it’s your choice, sometimes theirs. It’s rare that it doesn’t hurt, but there’s a fine line between being strong and divorcing yourself from all feeling.

If you put your hand on a hot kettle in an attempt to feel connected to the world again, go to Track 14

If you’d rather have a good time, go to Track 5

TRACK 3

“They say: you promised me you would never change” But identity is fluid. They’ve brought you down just when you’d started to live in the moment, accept the pain of memory and kiss the past goodbye, too. You can’t do much about how others see you, in the end, but you can try and be true to yourself.

If you try to be all things to all people, go to Track 4

If you think you have to leave people behind sometimes, go to Track 2

TRACK 4

“That’s right, I’m doing me” in the crescendo of a victory anthem ought to come across as triumphant. But it’s full of uncertainty, a resigned suspicion that your identity’s a commodity, that being completely “yourself” gets harder and harder the more people you know and more you try to please. “It’s far from over” should sound like a rallying cry, but you make it seem so weary.

If you imagine that things could have been different, go to Track 12

If you think that one day you’ll realise what a great time you were having, go to Track 9

If you want to try disassociating yourself from others’ opinions, go to Track 2

TRACK 5

It’s hard, living in the moment. Once in a while, you get the opportunity for a bit of right-now happiness with someone. But the weight of memory presses hard, you torture yourself, wondering how your past even led you there in the first place, while trying too hard to forget and going on about saving worries for tomorrow just reminds you of the problems. So you live for “the nights you can’t remember with the people you won’t forget”.

If you think you can still make the best of it, go to Track 7

If you think simpler would be better, go to Track 12

TRACK 6

You have been up all night.

If you look like yes, go to Track 8

If you look like no, go to Track 9

TRACK 7

If you got your nails done and hair done and everything did, go to Track 6

If you’re worried people will think you’re too fancy, go to Track 3

TRACK 8

This is the dream, isn’t it. (This is The-Dream, isn’t it.) That moment where time slows down and stops and you can finally focus on something, finally be fully present in the moment with someone. And a song that makes you feel it, like the air in a heat haze warping around you. I THINK YOU REALLY MADE IT.

TRACK 9

“Looking forward to the memories of right now”? But it’s a beautiful night to live your beautiful life. Why can’t you be there, living it? Losing yourself in thoughts of potential futures is bad enough, but losing yourself in thoughts of a potential future in which you’re stuck looking back at the present past? You are so lost.

TRACK 10

“I keep thinking, how young can you die from old age?” Memories weigh heavy, when you’ve already had a too-full life. But how has your past changed you?

If you think it’ll all make more sense when you look back at it in years to come, go to Track 9

If you’re thinking about who you’ve had to leave behind, go to Track 2

If you’re trying to work out who the hell you are, go to Track 4

TRACK 11

“Miss me a little when I’m gone” But how can you know who you are, if all your identity comes from how others see you?

If you think people have got you all wrong, go to Track 3

If you think it’s down to you, go to Track 4

If you think it’s better to try and move on, go to Track 2

TRACK 12

If there’s one thing more dangerous than living in the past or the future, it’s imagining how different things could be right now. You can’t undo the changes you’ve gone through. For better or worse, they’ve made you who you are. But still, you imagine yourself in an alternate present, with the old familiar things around you, as if you’d never moved on. YOU ARE LOST.

TRACK 13

“Every single summer, I’ll be the one that you remember.”  I listened to this album on lazy summer afternoons in the park, on too-hot mornings as I walked to work, and late at night in the middle of our June heatwave when the world seemed to press in through the window… It’s hard to avoid getting mentally bogged down in the past, in all your mistakes and wasted opportunities, when you get to a certain age. It’s hard to imagine the future being much better. It’s a great thing if you can appreciate everything that’s good in the here and now. It’s amazing when music comes along that speaks to you personally and moves you, when the music is as sweet as a cool breeze on a hot summer’s night. Hey how did you get to this paragraph anyway?

TRACK 14

“Thank me later, yeah, I know what I said, but later doesn’t always come, so instead, it’s okay – you could thank me now” And the moment rushes in. When an album sets up a theme of deferment and displacement, right from its title, it’s a good thing to get it all resolved in the final track. I THINK YOU MADE IT. But other endings may be available