Tag Archives: cher lloyd

Favourite albums of 2011

20. Ghostpoet – Peanut Butter Blues & Melancholy Jam

19. Lupe Fiasco – Lasers

18. Lady Gaga – Born This Way

17. Rihanna – Talk That Talk

16. Theophilus London – Timez Are Weird These Days

15. Drake – Take Care

14. Anna Calvi – Anna Calvi

13. Jamie Woon – Mirrorwriting

12. Lil B – I’m Gay (I’m Happy)

11. Selena Gomez & The Scene – When The Sun Goes Down

10. CocknBullKid – Adulthood

9. araabMUZIK – Electronic Dream

8. Cher Lloyd – Sticks + Stones

7. Riz MC – MICroscope

6. Beyoncé – 4

5. The Sound of Arrows – Voyage

4. Toddla T – Watch Me Dance

3. Britney Spears – Femme Fatale

Britney’s people have told her that every song on her album Femme Fatale is inspired by a different femme fatale from history, myth or fiction. Poor Britney just can’t work it out though! Can YOU match the lyrics from the album to the  foxy ladies in question? Answers below.

2. The Weeknd – House of Balloons

Poor Abel Tesfaye has just got the artwork for his epically miserable comedown album back from the designers, but it looks like they’ve strayed from his original vision! Can YOU spot the five subtle differences hidden in the new cover?

If you are having trouble spotting all five differences here are some hints!

  • I wonder who else was at those debauched parties he sings about?
  • There’s a subtle theme running through the album but we’ve “inflated” it
  • “Well doesn’t that put the cherry on top”
  • Track titles ‘MAY’ not ‘ALWAYS’ be correct!
  • A dog’s face

1. Katy B – On A Mission

Here are Katy’s missions explained track-by-track:


Attributes: Slowly unfolding; sweeping musical vista; quite long. Mission: 1986 film THE MISSION. (From the IMDB plot synopsis: “Initially, the Guarani warriors prepare to kill him, but after Gabriel plays an unforgettable solo on his oboe, they allow him to live”. And we’ve all had days like that.)


Attributes: Bold, purposeful, brill. Mission: KATY’S MISSION STATEMENT


Attributes: Elegant; structured; accomplished. Mission: MISSION REVIVAL ARCHITECTURE.


Attributes: Startling; Bleepy; Full of twists and turns that leave you feeling dislocated. Mission: Doctor Who‘s 1965 MISSION TO THE UNKNOWN episode with its imagination-gone-mad monsters and lack of regular cast.


Attributes: Propulsive; No nonsense; Designed to make you move. Mission: A SEARCH AND DESTROY MISSION.


Attributes: Dignified; Luxurious; Satisfying. Mission: The DIPLOMATIC MISSION where the Ferrero Rocher-stuffed Ambassador’s Receptions are held.


Attributes: Solid; A bit old-fashioned; Cheery. Mission: THE GLAD TIDINGS MISSION FROM 60s CORONATION STREET, over which Ena Sharples presided; a handy refuge in case of a gas leak on the Street.


Attributes: Bright; Bouncy; Pretty. Mission: MISSION BELL (the flower, stupid.)


Attributes: Passing the torch from one generation of singer to the next; Shiny; Confident. Mission: THE CONTINUING MISSION of Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s Enterprise-D.


Attributes: Fun; In your face; Sassy with the fanfares. Mission: The original series of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE.


Attributes: Romantic; Irresistible; Destined to help Magnetic Man be warmly remembered even though most people shrugged at their album proper. Mission: A RESCUE MISSION.


Attributes: Charming; Laidback; Basking in the glow of all that’s come before. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.


Celebrity Families: The Lloyds

“We’re all a little bit excited,” says mum Siân in that soothing voice of hers as she ushers me into the family home. “My little girl could be going to number one today!” She rushes over to Cher Lloyd’s side as they huddle around the radio. For some reason the radio is a giant contraption being worn on grandad Christopher’s head. “My dad’s an inventor!” explains Siân proudly.

“Shut UP mum!” snaps Cher. “We’re into the Top Ten, I bet Reggie phones me any minute!” Siân clears her throat loudly and Cher notices me at last. She springs up, brandishing a terrier. “Hello hater!” she says. “This is my dog Wagger.”

“I wanted to call him Einstein,” says Christopher sadly. I pet the dog, who limps away with the stiffness of age.

I assure Cher that I’m not one of her haters, that in fact I quite like her. She kisses her teeth. “You can’t stop looking at me, can you? You can’t stop writing ’bout me!” I explain that it’s because I’m here to interview her for a magazine profile. “Well I’m laughing all the way,” she counters with unnecessary petulance.

Christopher shoots her a wild-eyed look. “You really are a cheeky girl, aren’t you.”

Siân looks round as if a gun’s been fired in the room. “What? Where?”

Fortunately there’s a sudden distraction as the phone rings. It’s Reggie Yates, confirming that Cher has indeed gone to number one. The girls turn the radio up loud and dance around, crying happily.

Christopher reaches into the sideboard and hands Cher a tattered envelope. “Time to open the sealed letter I wrote you in 1985!” he blurts.

Cher narrows her eyes, commenting that she hadn’t been born then, as she opens the envelope and reads out the letter. “Dear Cher, If my calculations are correct, you will receive this letter immediately after learning that you have reached number one in the popular charts…

“That’s amazing Dad!” lilts Siân. “What does the other letter say?”


“There were two letters in the sideboard – one with a Y on the back and one with an N.”

“No there weren’t,” says Christopher defensively. “When was the last time you did a forecast anyway?”

I clear the air by asking Cher where the inspiration for her song came from, but only a croak comes out as her little mouth opens and closes. She begins to weep.

“Too much excitement!” shrieks Siân. “You need vitamin C!” She rummages in the fruit bowl. “Oh my darling. I know there’s a clementine buried in here somewhere. Don’t even try to speak!”

But Cher has found her voice again. “Mum stop trying to shut me up! I’ll talk about my success if I want to!” She looks daggers at Siân. “Gagger!”




“Have you both quite finished?” I interrupt. A silence descends across the room. It is broken by a sad bark. Wagger staggers in.

[continued on page 119]