Category Archives: YouTube Watch

YouTube watch: Dogs under doors

Crazy Dog Under The door In one sense this video’s got everything we’re looking for, from the urgent paw thrusting through the gap to the jubilant appearance of a wet nose. And the cinema verité set-up, with that sharp angle on the carpet, is also to be praised. The moments when the dog writhes and thrutches in the ecstasy of unfulfilled transition, or runs briefly around the mysterious room beyond the barrier, half-seen, mostly suggested, are excellent. An excessive amount of taunting from the human in the clip renders this less than perfect. Still, you have to admire the audacity of the film-maker in going in for that extreme close-up around 1:20. 4/5

The Dog Under The Door I like the first-person perspective as the camera explores the hallway at the start of this clip, strongly reminiscent of the opening sequence of John Carpenter’s similar Halloween. And the canine reveal is handled with an equal sense of darkness, as its face fills the screen with shadow before its paws pad unknowably away. It’s not entirely what we’re looking for though. 2/5

Dog Squeezes Under Door For all that it’s poorly lit and statically framed, there’s no denying this video ticks many of the genre’s most important boxes, from the initial exploratory paw and nose, to the thrill of the threshold wriggle. Exuberant joy from a triumphant little dog at the end lifts this slightly above the average. 3/5

Amazing Chihuahua Fits Under the Door Crack It’s with some reservations that I include this video at all. A chihuahua is more rat than dog. And if I didn’t know better I’d suspect that door had been deliberately hung high to facilitate exactly this sort of shenanigan. Little to recommend it. 1/5

Dog Squeezing Under Garage Door Lola’s journey is a dramatic one. We’re plunged straight into the action as not just the paws, but a full sideways muzzle pokes frantically through the gap. As you follow her quest, you’ll see some encouraging petting, and some desperate clawing at a nearby tyre. At 0:56 something extraordinary happens. Another paw, another muzzle! Who is this mysterious dog, the colour of lightly burnt syrup, who’s intervening?

Sadly Lola’s bid for freedom is unsuccessful. But in many ways that feels right! Ultimately the story of a dog under a door is the story of us all; our own animal natures in conflict with the demands of the modern world, as we wrestle with fate in the liminal spaces between one darkened state of existence and another. It’d be naive to suggest that an easy resolution is possible. For style, and drama, this is the best video of its kind. 5/5

YouTube Watch: The magic of Interpretative Dance

Interpretive Dance Rhythm Is A Dancer (The Original) Because sometimes, “as serious as cancer” just isn’t serious enough. Moves to watch out for include the ‘Churchill, can I really save money on my car insurance?’ (0:04), the ‘Milking a giant cow’ (0:15), the ‘Greek Tragedy’ (0:25) and the ‘Man Machine’ (0:54). 2/5

Kristin and Lindsay to raise me up It’s a slow, awkward start, but there’s little on YouTube to rival the appalled look on the face of the girl at front right, as she turns to camera at 0:10. Then things get a bit more dynamic at 0:25 when the dancers nearly take a tumble. There’s some showboating as the chorus kicks in, and a surprise guest running into shot in the final moments. Don’t wait up – it’s not Westlife. 1/5

celine dion interpretive dance Whose music could be better suited to a dramatic interpretation than Celine’s? Still the opening might leave you confused, as the camera zooms in on some split ends, but bear with it. Watch for the ‘Three Potato’ at 0:17, the Liza Goddard-styled ‘It’s a TV show!’ at 1:02, the ‘Sisterhood of Karn’ at 1:28 and, most especially, for the dangerous technical coup de theatre of the ‘clusterfoot’ at 1:37. It all goes a bit freestyle after that. 3/5

Improvised Dance part 1/5 – Rachmaninov – Piano Concerto n. 3 – 1st Movement.m4v Words almost fail me with this fella. Is he a body-popping spider? Is he a gangly robot? Why is he in his pants and socks? Fortunately he’s provided many of the answers in his blurb for the video: “There’s a story to go with this dance: Here, we are introduced to the dancer. He has had an idea and believes it to be his own.” You’ll have to watch for yourself to find the truth in that statement. 4/5

Can You Feel It dance (HD) This woman is a legend. She’s got over 1,000 videos uploaded and she never seems to run out of spunk. Watch how she coaxes us into her world with that confident over-the-shoulder smirk. And then how that knowing nod signifies: IT’S ON. At some point as she whirls and pounces, we notice that she’s wearing a spare pare of Pringle leggings as fingerless gauntlets. Sometimes her hair gets stuck to her face in the excitement. But mostly we’re caught up in her dance, five minutes of transcendent private joy made public. It’s terrible when it ends. But we’re left with her looming hugely towards us as though for a kiss. And there are 1,000 more to watch… 5/5


YouTube watch: The fans of Daniel Bedingfield

This time on YouTube Watch, I’m looking at Daniel Bedingfield’s superfans – the ones who love If You’re Not The One enough to risk going public with a YouTube cover version. How will they fare? And what about that big note?

Daniel Bedingfield – If You’re Not The One (Auto-Tune) There’s a refreshing casualness here, compared to some of the earnestness that’s coming up. jeffersonkim delivers his performance slouched on an office chair, framed by a superbly messy backdrop, swivelling and fidgeting away, with the occasional builder’s sniff to punctuate Bedders’s timeless melody. Sonically, you might be put off by the trilly autotune, but the alarming stereo separation is worse, if you’re listening on headphones. As for the big note, he wins me over with a very gracious ‘refusal at the first fence’ and a long sigh instead, as though finally reaching a toilet on a busy day. 3/5

“If You’re Not The One” – Daniel Bedingfield (COVER) (HD) Romance! Passion! Drama! Such things can bore. And someone’s gone a bit mad with the swirly graphics and screen-in-screen effects. The big note is passable, and as for the sensuous video backdrop, YouTube commenter harbordman puts it best: ‘That sheet could have done with an iron.’ 1/5

Daniel Bedingfield – If You’re Not The One (Paolo’s Version) Is that an uncomfortable pause at the beginning? Technical difficulties? NO! Paolo is simply allowing the words ‘Here’s your song request Cyrus’, ‘My gift to you’ and ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ to slowly appear, before announcing the start of proceedings with a devastating wink to camera. And what proceedings. He teases us with the big note the first time around, but on the final one (around 4:16)… Let’s just say that after I listened there was a scuffling noise at the front door and when I opened it, all the neighbourhood dogs were sat there expectantly. I don’t know what they wanted. 2/5

If You’re Not the One – Daniel Bedingfield and Nikki Gil (Cover by Khrystle) You know those adverts for cancer or whatever, where a child’s voice sings a haunting nursery rhyme while the camera pans around an empty room with abandoned toys etc.? That. Extraordinary. However it doesn’t seem that Khrystle is really dead. She simply chooses to illustrate the big note (it’s OK) with a splash of Ken Burns Effect across a discarded High School Musical ring binder and charm bracelet. 4/5

two know Music Video (If You’re Not the One – Daniel Bedingfield) And THIS, saved till last. The full cinematic treatment in a video from Same Difference tribute act ‘two know’. HE roams around melancholic woodland clutching at fences while SHE sits on a settee looking supremely bored until it’s her turn to sing. There’s amazing ‘literal video’ treatment for the lyrics ‘run away’  and ‘crying on my bed’, and — not that I want to spoil anything — the moment when our star-crossed pair are finally reunited features the best ‘awkwardly sitting down at the same time while leaning on each other’ dramatic move that I’ve ever seen. Terrible. 5/5

Daniel Bedingfield is launching his new video from his Facebook tomorrow

YouTube Watch: Dogs eating eggs

I research YouTube’s most popular topics so you don’t have to!

“Feeding Whole Raw Egg” We’re looking for certain attributes in these videos: the right combination of uncertainty, licking, kick-chasing, optional stamping, the all-important ‘crunch’ moment, and hopefully a bit of yolk. This introductory video delivers most of those, but unexceptionally, until the final moments, when a nice close-up muzzle shot pans out to reveal an interested rival dog, sniffing the nearby spoils. 3/5

“Wesha eats an egg” A lovely gentle bitch, nicely framed, wastes no time here. A quick pawing and before you know it she’s licking the crack. AMAZING yolk reveal, very luminously yellow and perfectly exposed. Even the dog appears to raise an eyebrow. This video also features a last-minute appearance by a rival dog, and on this occasion it’s a shame that the camera is so easily distracted by it. 4/5

“My dog eating an egg” Frisky dog is reduced to a pleasing, slightly baffled state on the appearance of an egg and demonstrates nice jaw-grip and good control of the classic ‘nose push’ manoeuvre. A natural playfulness between dog and egg develops, with some very frolicsome antics in the grass. Perhaps because of this, the very sudden smash and chomp at the end feels more like a violation than a consummation. 3.5/5

“Dog Samoyed Pamela and Egg” Hmm. It’s always a bit of a disappointment when the egg turns out to have been pre-boiled for the dog’s benefit. I include this video for the excellent extreme close-ups and “mucky muzzle action”. But it’s overlong (when you find yourself wondering who’s going to be cleaning that rug, you KNOW they’ve jumped the shark), and the two-minute coda (two minutes!) of the dog’s supposed dream sequence is lamentable. 2/5

“Boiled egg Vs basset hound” The most action-oriented of these videos features a quite remarkable battle between the beast and its food. The basset’s combat techniques are startling, exciting, and well deserving of the slow mo replay they’re at one point granted. A genuine sense of danger and drama pervades, even when the egg is pulverised and clearly no longer a threat. This video is so good that you can watch right to the end before you stop and think ‘Hang on – that was PRE-PEELED!’ 5/5

YouTube Watch: Chickens laying eggs

When you’re pressed for time and faced with a screenful of YouTube results it’s hard to know where to start. So I’ll be reviewing some of the top hits on some of the internet’s most popular topics for you. You’re welcome!

“Chicken laying egg! GREAT GROSS VIEW!” This one takes you straight to the centre of the action, with a very intimate view of the chicken’s rear end as she strains to do her business. Some shaky camerawork and erratic focus let it down, but that’s made up for by the pert, glistening egg and the proudly twitching feathers. Needs an edit at the end. 4/5

“Chicken laying an egg” Very slow, with too much faffing about in the henhouse and a surfeit of cutesy captions. The money shot comes around the 4 minute mark, filmed a little too discreetly in profile for my liking, but with a nice plumage display. 1/5

Chicken laying egg 3, AMAZING VIEW! A very action-packed feel to this brief video, but the human fingers constantly teasing the arse-feathers out of the way are somewhat intrusive. There’s a fine line between primping and pimping! Bonus point for the sudden dramatic camera-tilt retreat at the end. 3/5

“CHICKEN LAYING AN EGG Polzeath Cornwall” A very chatty and rhythmic chicken makes this video a nice initiation for the first time egg-watcher. Because you get to know this friendly bird so well, it’s not too disappointing when it turns out at the end (Spoiler!) that the egg’s already been laid. 2/5

Chickens Laying Eggs Sideways camera and a confusing, disjointed plot mean I can’t really recommend this one. 0/5

“aussie chook laying egg – this one’s a cracker!” And it really is, this one’s got it all. There’s a LITTLE bit of stage management at the beginning, but otherwise this is one chook who’s all too happy to show us what’s passing through her glory hole. A lot of tension during the side-to-side shifting and straining, before a nicely timed caption takes us to the finish. Textbook. 5/5