YouTube Watch: Separating Eggs

The white and the yolk. They belong together, don’t they. Well not if you’re making a pâte sucrée with a meringue on top they don’t. But who dares tear them apart? I’ve checked out the best instructional videos…

How To Separate Egg Whites Our selection opens with some no-nonsense tips backed by some ominous jazz-grill background music. Don’t go driving shell fragments into the white. Keep the bowl to hand. It’s all good stuff, so let’s not be disheartened to see that the bowl looks like something surgeons would plop your organs into during an operation. The method here is Floating Yolk, Dripping White, and everything’s presented beautifully. 4/5

How to Separate Egg Whites and Egg Yokes Short and to the point, with the same ‘to me, to you’ half-shell pass in play. So what’s new? The musical intro is a bit more dramatic, and the presenter beckons us to the close-up coquettishly. But what’s that typo in the title? YOKES. It says more than it knows. Are the yolk and the white pressed into service together like oxen? Do they secretly long to be free? Practicality takes over and we have to cast such thoughts aside. 3/5

The Egg White is Separating from the Yolk Who’s this, then? Yes, it’s Almine De Villiers, The Rt. Hon. Countess of Shannon, and she’s got some inspiring thoughts to share with us. Like an egg, society has LITERALLY split into two different realities we hear – that of those who are awake and that of those who are asleep. And quite right too! Imagine if dreams and the waking world crossed over! We’ve all seen THOSE films. No, hang on, it turns out she doesn’t literally mean ‘asleep’, she literally means ‘asleep’ figuratively – it’s all about spirituality of course. A highlight is when she describes all the unenlightened people she sees in the street as ‘retarded’ and ‘drooling’. At the end she says she hopes no-one was offended. But still, we can’t allow this eggless ramble. I’ll do the badly thought-out metaphors round here thanks.  1/5

How I separate egg whites. Back to the kitchen, but oh what a spooky one. A darkened, cropped frame reveals whites and yolks all in a bowl together already. “I just play around with them,” says a deep, cracked voice, occasionally breaking off to cough. A spoon teases the yolks up and down towards the camera. It’s like Saw. “Sometimes you can’t get the white out of it, or your hand trembles…” our narrator adds. “Just move on to another one.” There’s some talk about protein and biological value while the spoon gestures violently away. Finally, suddenly, it stabs down repeatedly, mingling all the white and yellow in the bowl together whether they like it or not. The Blair Witch of instructional videos. 2/10

如何巧妙分离蛋清蛋黄 very cool way to separate yolk from egg white
And here we are. The miracle method. I saw this today thanks to Michael. It’s so simple. So sensual. They say nature abhors a vacuum – well this is proof that an egg yolk doesn’t. It fucking loves it. You hardly need any more words from me – just watch it – but look at how, after being separated in the most elegant and perfect way possible, the egg and yolk are soon reunited – separate but together. Perhaps that’s all they ever wanted  5/5

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