TV Pitches: The Black Eyed Peas

What are our favourite stars going to do when their natural careers sadly run out? In the first of a new series, I investigate the options…

All That Junk Inside Your Trunk

The concept: Fergie and visit a different car boot sale every week

Fergie: What have you found, Will?

Will: I’ve got a Look-In annual, a CD single of The Rhythm of the Night and a signed photograph of Barbara Windsor!

Fergie: What are you going to do with all that junk?

Will: Wait, we have to keep this shit?

The Time (Dirty Bit)

The concept: Fergie and clean the muck off a different antique clock every week

Fergie: That clock’s filthy, Will!

Will: It’s an Ormolu!

Fergie: An Ormu-what?

Will: It sure is. Hey – dirty bit!

I Gotta Feeling

The concept: Fergie and investigate the wacky world of human neurology – with hilarious consequences!

Will: Hey Fergs, what are you up to?

Fergie: I’m using the Nissl method to stain my endoplasmic reticulum and reveal my negatively charged ribosomal RNA!

Will: To be honest it just looks like you’ve pissed yourself again.

Let’s Get It Started

The concept: Fergie and have 22 minutes to get an old car working, every week

Fergie: That’s a battered up old banger you’ve got there Will!

Will: Yes but let’s have a look at this week’s car.

Fergie: Oh WILL.

Shut Up

The concept: Fergie and are bricked into an old cellar. The cameras return every week to see how they’re getting on.

Fergie: It’s been months. I’m so cold. Did you eat the last rat?

Will: Shut up.

2 responses to “TV Pitches: The Black Eyed Peas

  1. I will at this point announce that my cousin is the (not s0) ghost writer of this:

    so we might, one day, see a longer version of this post. I do hope so.

  2. Amazing. Poor Taboo. It’s almost as though he’s completely disappeared from view in my post-Peas future. Him and the very memorable 4th Pea. :(

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