Monsters at Home: Mr. Noseybonk and the Mara

As 1982 Week continues, we’re going behind the scenes with two of the most feared telly creations of the era, because oh yes – they’re together at last. If you need a primer on either of them before we get going, click Play below…

WHAT DO THEY EAT Oh it’d be easy to assume the Mara’s always shoving the Fruit of Temptation in Noseybonk’s face. But no, not on their evenings off. Instead the Mara will offer Noseybonk a disclosing tablet. Noseybonk will accept it with a curious grin. He wil crunch away at it until the teeth in his perfect white head are as pink as newborn mice. And then how they’ll laugh.

HOW DO THEY SOCIALISE I do try, in ‘Monsters At Home’, to emphasise the carefree, fun times that go on behind the scenes. But there’s no two ways about it, the Mara and Noseybonk are unpopular, feared figures in their neighbourhood. Noseybonk’s banned from the garden centre after *that* incident and the Mara, who works part-time on Saturday in the tattoo parlour, just can’t seem to get along with anyone.

WHAT DO THEY DRINK The Mara enjoys a nice drop of snakebite and Noseybonk will have a snifter of anything.

WHAT DO THEY WATCH ON TELLY Delighting in chaos, and the madness and suffering of others, the Mara enjoys putting its foot up in front of the latest edition of Game For A Laugh. Noseybonk preferes something a little less harrowing, and titters along with Tenko.

WHAT DO THEY DO FOR FUN The Mara loves to play draughts. It flicks on the reverse mood lighting in the Dark Places Of The Inside, pops a Kate Bush tape in the hi-fi, and challenges Noseybonk to best it. Noseybonk looks up from his jigsaw. He surveys the board. His face bobs up and down approvingly. His blank eyes glint. Which leads us to:

HOW DO THEY REPRODUCE All that subtle Buddhist demon stuff, with the Mara propagating itself through tapping into people’s secret fears and desires in dreams – that’s just the day job, and physically it’s a snake like any other. So its true broodiness is expressed with a longing for a pronging from Noseybonk’s most impressive appendage, and a nice clutch of eggs to follow. Goodnight everyone!

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One response to “Monsters at Home: Mr. Noseybonk and the Mara

  1. I think we can turn the Internet off now.

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