What happened with the babysitter and the bad sherbert and the bad dream

By Bert, aged 3.9

My babysitter is called Britney. I look forward to when she comes round because she is very exciting and I never know what will happen. But sometimes this is a bit scary as well.

This week she came round and she was very happy because she was going on a vacation as soon as my mum got home. I asked her where she was going to go on her vacation and she laughed and she said to paradise. She was putting on lots of make-up as usual and I noticed she had some sherbert in her handbag and when she went to the toilet I had some of the sherbert but it did not taste very nice and I had to have a lie down.

Then there was something wrong with the lights and I could not see Britney properly but she looked strange. I was scared and I remembered when Britney took me to the barbers and about the haircut that made my mum angry and some other things that I was supposed to have forgotten.

Britney and I were on a spaceship and she was going to get married but some paint came out of her hands and she could not stop it and it spoiled her dress and she was crying but she was laughing as well and I did not know what was happening.

Then there were two Britneys and they had a big fight and the music was strange I had not heard any music like it before. I could not tell whether one of the Britneys was good and one of the Britneys was bad, I am not sure that either of them was sure of that either.

But I do not think that either of the Britneys won the fight. Then a big comet came and blew us all up and we died but then I woke up and it had all been a dream.

If I had thought about it I would have known that it was a dream because when Britney fought another Britney it was like what happened with my Auntie Nicki and one of her sisters at Halloween and when all the paint went everywhere it was like what my arch-enemy Willow Smith did at pre-school.

I was happy that all the bad things were just in a dream and I went to tell Britney about it. But she was asleep as well with her face on the kitchen table and there was lots of sherbert everywhere all around her. Her face looked nice when she was asleep because usually she is either very happy or very sad and when she was asleep she just looked like Britney. But I do not think the sherbert was good sherbert and I felt sorry for Britney because I know she wanted to go to paradise but I think it was too late.

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