Reaching for a tub of Coffee Mate today (I wouldn’t normally, but the whole reason it’s there is for lazy milkless Sunday mornings) I was struck by its claim to have a “smooth silky taste”. I would just like to point out that SILK IS THE STICKY SPIT OF A LARVA. At some point early on in history the secretions of a worm became associated with luxury. That’s fine by me, but I’d like to see a bit of “credit your sources” on the packaging of all the foods and beauty products that refer to it.
Likewise, bee-sick has long since been rebranded as “honey”, and hats off to whoever came up with that one. We don’t eat the vomit of any other insect, as far as I know – marketing wins again. Give me a room full of breakfast tables and I’ll happily go round reminding everyone of THE SINISTER TRUTH (*gets banned from all B&Bs everywhere*).