What I did at Halloween

By Bert, aged 3.8

My mum said I could have a Halloween party but on Halloween she bruised her oesophagus so I had to go out instead. My Auntie Nicki said I could go to a party with her but  I did not tell Mum because Auntie Nicki did a bad thing once and I am not allowed to see her.

The party was at Nicki’s friend Kanye’s house. He had a lot of nice furniture but he looked like he was busy and in a bad mood so I went to find someone to play with.


These girls looked nice and I like skipping although my mum does not like me skipping so I asked if I could play with them.

But the girls were not nice and they bit my arms.

I went to find my Auntie but Kanye said he would not help me because he had enough to worry about because he had invited too many people to the party. He gave me a “Goose and Malibu” to drink and I thought it would taste like chicken because a goose is like a nice chicken but it did not taste like chicken and it was not nice.

Some of the ladies at the party had been drinking the goose drink and they did not look well.




Finally I found my Auntie Nicki and she said it was time to go but I could not go straight away because I needed to go to the toilet.

I did not know that one of my other Auntie Nickis was coming to the party. My main Auntie Nicki has lots of sisters and they are all called Nicki too. They are not very good friends and they were fighting. The bad Aunty Nicki was talking about Willy Wonka but I did not want to think about a chocolate factory because there was no chocolate and I needed the toilet.

I went to find the toilet but a lot of people were using the toilet already and I had an accident.

When I did get into the toilet Kanye was in there and I think he had an accident too because he was trying to have a bath but the women were touching him. It was not a nice Halloween.

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2 responses to “What I did at Halloween

  1. Pingback: What happened with the babysitter and the bad sherbert and the bad dream | Bert's All-New Citrus Sarcophagus

  2. Pingback: What I did on the rubbish dump | Bert's All-New Citrus Sarcophagus

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