By Bert, aged 3.8
My mum said I could have a Halloween party but on Halloween she bruised her oesophagus so I had to go out instead. My Auntie Nicki said I could go to a party with her but I did not tell Mum because Auntie Nicki did a bad thing once and I am not allowed to see her.
These girls looked nice and I like skipping although my mum does not like me skipping so I asked if I could play with them.
I went to find my Auntie but Kanye said he would not help me because he had enough to worry about because he had invited too many people to the party. He gave me a “Goose and Malibu” to drink and I thought it would taste like chicken because a goose is like a nice chicken but it did not taste like chicken and it was not nice.
Finally I found my Auntie Nicki and she said it was time to go but I could not go straight away because I needed to go to the toilet.
I did not know that one of my other Auntie Nickis was coming to the party. My main Auntie Nicki has lots of sisters and they are all called Nicki too. They are not very good friends and they were fighting. The bad Aunty Nicki was talking about Willy Wonka but I did not want to think about a chocolate factory because there was no chocolate and I needed the toilet.